DeSoto to DeSolar

Back in late 2015 I started working my way through a collection of "the greatest" essays written by Americans and was fascinated by Annie Dillard's account of her experience witnessing the solar eclipse of 1979 that passed through the Pacific Northwest. A cursory online search told me the next eclipse in the US would take place in August of 2017. Jason was skeptical at first about the magnitude of the event (which surprised me, because he and I share a great love for all things nerdy like this) but once he read more about it and we discovered the "path of totality" would be in easy striking distance for us, we both agreed on taking the kids and making it into a family trip of a lifetime.

We marked the date in red on the calendar but did no further planning, figuring we'd probably end up in Carbondale due to proximity and the size of the festival planned around the event, but I was also leaning towards trying to stay near St. Louis because of my own family ties there. Our procrastination on deciding where, exactly, along the path to go paid off; Carbondale hotels were mostly booked by late spring and we seemed destined to end up in Missouri. When my grandma died this summer, it felt even more meaningful to travel back to her home state to witness a once-in-a-lifetime event, and we chose DeSoto, a town very near the center line of the eclipse's path with around 2 minutes and 40 seconds of totality, but also the location of my dad's first home and a community where my grandfather served as a minister, as the perfect destination.

We pulled in to DeSoto around 7:15 on the morning of the eclipse, wearing our homemade shirts (of course), and eager to find the perfect parking spot near the library and downtown so we would have easy access to all of the events the sleepy little town of around 6000 had to offer. We were joined by visitors from across the country - California to Florida to Maryland - and even from as far away as India, Spain, China, and South Africa. From  pinhole projectors and glow-in-the-dark bracelet stations at the library to giant cups of shaved ice while standing under a small misting tent to our warm handshake and welcome from the friendly local gun shop and travel agency owner, DeSoto was filled with the perfect ways to celebrate the solar eclipse. We couldn't have picked a better spot.

Even my "good" camera is amateurish, so I won't bore you with the poor photos I took of the eclipse itself. Instead, here are the moments I captured throughout the day of our family's adventures. We're already planning for 2024.

store-bought costumes are for the birds // DIY family Halloween costumes

For the two of you who read this blog who aren't related to me, an old college friend, or in my moms' group, and therefore haven't already seen these pictures, I now present you with our 2013 Family Halloween Costumes.

Yep, we're a bunch of bird brains around here.

For two years in a row, my husband has come up with a "theme" idea for Halloween and I've had to figure out a way to make it happen. I'm not a pro with the sewing machine, by any means, and I don't want to spend a bunch of money on something we'll wear for such a limited time, so our costumes are mostly thrifted, upcycled, and thrown together with a lot of hot glue, staples, safety pins, and maybe a handsewn stitch or two. (Here's last year's costumes for reference.)

This year, Jason said he wanted to go as birds. That seemed a little...weird, so during a very rare date night when my parents were visiting, we sat together over cappuccinos and brainstormed how to make it come together.

Here's how I ended up doing it:

Since I was going to have to wear Phoebe in a carrier, I decided that it would be cute if she could be a little bird in a nest and I could be the tree she was nesting in. She already had a brown and white striped beanie, so I attached a fake nest and a package of plastic robin's eggs from Joann Fabrics with some hot glue and brown embroidery thread.

For my tree apparel, I bought a garland of ivy at Michael's and wrapped it around the sleeves of a green sweatshirt, then pinned it at the shoulders and wrists. I already owned a green Moby and a pair of striped brown pants. Done.

Do I have any makeup on? Had I even showered? Nope and nope - 

but when you promise your toddler you will go trick-or-treating, you go, end of story.

Lorelei's costume wasn't too hard - I found a Carter's duck costume (albeit in an 18-month size - it's a little tight, but you go with what you can find on the cheap!) and bought a sheet of posterboard and a bag of craft feathers, then went crazy with a gluestick one afternoon during naptime. A yellow shirt from Goodwill plus black leggings and yellow rainboots that we already owned helped to finish things off. It's not going to win any awards, but it gets the job done.

And Jason's was the easiest: a birdwatcher! He is one, so everything he's wearing is his own. There's even a bird guide tucked into the pocket of his vest.

Peeking out of his other pocket? A burpcloth, naturally. 

And Lorelei had never eaten candy before, so please excuse all the shots of her digging around in her little bucket.

We already have our idea for next year all mapped out...and we hope to keep up the family themed costumes for many years to come!

p.s. Phoebe is sad you couldn't see her face in any of the photos above, so here you go:

scenes from a month. (wordless Wednesday)

Some of what we've been doing since Phoebe arrived.

two sisters, one mother.

Friends, I have so many things I want to blog about and there's just no time in between nursing sessions and playdoh/block tower/My Little Pony sessions and the occasional nap and shower. But I can't help but share this picture with you:

all photos in this post: Bella Baby Photography

I spent nine months - and more, even before I was pregnant - worrying about how having a new baby would affect my relationship with Lorelei. Her infancy was fraught with challenge and difficulty, largely because being plunged into motherhood was something my psyche just wasn't ready for. Whether it was the sleeplessness, the hormones, the nursing difficulties, or just the dramatic change from full-time Me to full-time Mom, I struggled for months. And as a result, I think, my relationship with my amazing little girl is one of fierce loyalty, because what else could have kept me going through all of that? So even though I was excited to bring another little baby into our family, I felt desperately sad about how it would change the close bond between mother and daughter.

The first night after Phoebe was born, I was alone with her while Jason went out to dinner with Lorelei and the extended family we had in town to celebrate - and he ended up being gone for hours to help put our big girl to bed and gather a few things to bring back to the hospital. Stuck in bed, unable to put her down to use the bathroom or eat much dinner because she was so fussy and ravenous herself, I cried and cried, thinking about how much I wanted to be the one singing "our" lullaby and stroking her hair instead of being tethered to a baby who had no relationship with me yet and, but for one reason, probably wouldn't notice if I wasn't there anyway. It felt like The End of our happy little threesome.

But Lorelei has always had a funny little way of teaching me valuable lessons that I really need to learn. My fierce love for her is reflected now in her fierce love for her sister - the adoration she feels for "Baby Phoebe" is palpable (in fact, sometimes Phoebe would probably prefer not to have her sister be so touchy!). Constant kisses, running over to check on her, looks of concern when she fusses or cries ("Mommy, Phoebe needs some milk") - Phoebe is usually the first word out of her mouth when she gets up from her nap or gets home from playing at the park with Daddy. Lorelei couldn't care less about other people's babies, but her baby? She's the most important thing in her world right now.

And seeing that fierce sister love is helping my fears to subside and my own love for Phoebe to grow and grow. Those sad hours in the hospital are a distant memory and are being replaced by happy memories of cuddling with my squishy little newborn who grunts when she sleeps and always smells a little bit like spoiled milk and that hard-to-describe new baby scent that fades much too quickly. And my relationship with Lorelei? Just as close as ever, even through her growing pains as she adjusts to being one of two. I know there's a long road ahead and many bumps on it, but I know we'll all make it over them together.

And as I watch my two daughters begin to know each other, I'm reminded, often, of this beautiful quote I once read on another blog:

To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time. - Clara Ortega

Here's to my girls growing ever young together.

one week.

A few pictures of Phoebe on her one-week birthday, in a rare moment of wide-eyed awareness:

Phoebe Ruth.

Phoebe Ruth arrived in the wee hours on Saturday morning - 1:04am to be exact. She's a big girl already at 7 pounds, 11 ounces and 20 inches long. Lorelei is quite the doting big sister, holding her hand, patting her head, and trying to share her favorite toys with her. We're exhausted, of course, but life is good for our new family of four. Thanks for all your good wishes and kind words - they are so very much appreciated by this tired mama!

Hope to be able to share more news and pictures with you all soon after I take a little babymoon :)

we were so much older then - we're younger than that now.

Today is my/our 8th wedding anniversary - and this fall will mark 13 years of being a couple (I haven't gone on a "first date" since I was 19, in 2000. Wowza.). Looking at old photos of us together is making me especially nostalgic in these last few weeks before baby girl #2 arrives. Case in point:

(photos from 2003, 2004, 2005, and 2006)

At our recent 10-year college reunion, we were chatting with some friends about what it was like for their spouses and significant others to get a glimpse into 4 years of their lives that had such a profound effect on shaping who they became as adults - and a woman I've always really admired told me, "It must be nice to get to come to this with Jason and to have your time at college be a part of your shared history as a couple." I've thought about her words several times since then - and it is pretty amazing to have grown up together, academically and personally.

We're celebrating today by ordering Thai takeout once Lorelei goes to bed. So much for adventure and romance - but at least we have each other.