Thursday, April 19, 2012

adventures in motherhood: true confessions.

Okay, I admit it: sometimes, I'm not the mother I always hoped I'd be.

(lest you think you need to call the authorities, my husband staged this photo shoot as part of a thank you to a friend who sent us a Willie Nelson baby CD. For the record, I haven't even had a cup of regular coffee since I got pregnant and/or during breastfeeding -- let alone allowing our daughter to ingest alcohol!)

To wit:

1. I never put our baby in pajamas because it takes too much time to fiddle with buttons, snaps, and zippers in the night. I put her in a sleepsack and figure she's probably warm/comfortable enough. Also, I sometimes don't bother changing her diaper in the night because, well, if she would sleep through instead of waking up so much, I wouldn't be worried about it, right?

2. I fed her pizza last night because I didn't feel like making anything baby appropriate. Sometimes, when she turns up her nose at what I'm offering, I give her baby cheetos.

3. Besides putting up a gate at the top of our basement stairs, I haven't babyproofed the house. Since she can't reach doorknobs yet, I just shut doors and hope for the best.

4. L is so obsessed with taking people's glasses that I bought her a fake pair at Target to play with and pull off our faces. As a result, within five minutes of seeing her grandma, she broke one of the arms of her glasses right off.

5. Pacifiers. Never ever ever thought I'd use one. Now my daughter is so obsessed with hers that she tries to sneak into her room to find them in her crib. We go into her room dozens of times a night to replace it when it falls out. I only allow her to use them when sleeping or in her car seat (which she hates with a fiery passion), but still...

How about you? What are your dirty little parenting secrets?


  1. I love the honesty:) Also, seems like she's doing juuuuuuuuust fine to me. I love those little cheeks!

  2. HAHA! This post is perfection!

    I didn't baby proof the house until Avery was one...then when I did Avery removed the electrical socket plugs and stuck a bobby pin in one. Luckily she didn't get shocked, but I was thinking "why did I even bother baby proofing these?!"

    Also, sometimes I let Avery listen to Taylor Swift on our ipod, but the other day I found her in her room listening to Drowning Pool's "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor". I was completely mortified that she'd even found that song!

  3. We have a couple of photos that are very similar. We have also done very minimal baby proofing-outlet covers because we have the child that tries to stick his fingers into them if they're uncovered, furniture pushed off to the side, and, when all else fails, baby jail (whether it's the Superyard, Pack n'Play, or Exersaucer). I do think we need to install our baby gates, but he hasn't tried the stairs yet ;-)

  4. We've fallen into the #4 trap before (our glasses have never been quite the same). But my dirtiest secret is the semi-judicious use of yo gabba gabba, before breakfast when I'm trying to get everything started and again when I'm making dinner. I've tried to get off the stuff so many times but I keep crawling back. P.S. I'm loving the hushabye series. Why have I never heard of this before!

  5. We haven't baby proofed either. I once asked somebody what they did to baby proof, and she said, "Eh, we just kind of did it as needed." I took the same approach. Oh, and the pacifier. Who knew? Those things are all sorts of amazing.

  6. 1. let J use the ipod touch today on the tube so i could home in peace. i could just feel the old british ladies glaring at me. games and "horton hears a who" are my lifesaver if we are out too long before a nap, still wanting to finish a meal out, have adult conversation, or while i am frantically trying to get her dinner ready. oh, also when i need a shower...
    2. J still has the pacifiers - only for sleep, but still...can't face the thought of weaning just yet.
    3. she asked the waitress for "pink cream" today - yes, she ordered herself an ice cream cone.
    4. i have a slight addiction with buying her books. i really need to do a purge - so i can buy more!
    5. cheerios and milk for breakfast when i just can't face making something. and that means we can eggs for lunch or dinner!

  7. Definitely the binky. We "weaned" them off of it, then gave it back a couple weeks ago because dangit, we needed some sleep! They absolutely love them. We also let them go all night in their diapers unless they poo...I figure if that's the worst I'm doing, everyone is all right :)