(lest you think you need to call the authorities, my husband staged this photo shoot as part of a thank you to a friend who sent us a Willie Nelson baby CD. For the record, I haven't even had a cup of regular coffee since I got pregnant and/or during breastfeeding -- let alone allowing our daughter to ingest alcohol!)
1. I never put our baby in pajamas because it takes too much time to fiddle with buttons, snaps, and zippers in the night. I put her in a sleepsack and figure she's probably warm/comfortable enough. Also, I sometimes don't bother changing her diaper in the night because, well, if she would sleep through instead of waking up so much, I wouldn't be worried about it, right?
2. I fed her pizza last night because I didn't feel like making anything baby appropriate. Sometimes, when she turns up her nose at what I'm offering, I give her baby cheetos.
3. Besides putting up a gate at the top of our basement stairs, I haven't babyproofed the house. Since she can't reach doorknobs yet, I just shut doors and hope for the best.
4. L is so obsessed with taking people's glasses that I bought her a fake pair at Target to play with and pull off our faces. As a result, within five minutes of seeing her grandma, she broke one of the arms of her glasses right off.
5. Pacifiers. Never ever ever thought I'd use one. Now my daughter is so obsessed with hers that she tries to sneak into her room to find them in her crib. We go into her room dozens of times a night to replace it when it falls out. I only allow her to use them when sleeping or in her car seat (which she hates with a fiery passion), but still...
How about you? What are your dirty little parenting secrets?