Hello there, blog world, and happy 2014 -
My brother and his wife bought me a garbage can for Christmas.
I tell you this not to publicly shame them - it was actually a fabulous and much-needed gift - but as a way to tell you why my birthday resolution this year (officially starting tomorrow) is to live my life with more intention. See, we moved into this house last January, on Martin Luther King Day weekend. And until Christmas Day, we still hadn't fixed the busted pull-out-from-the-cabinet kitchen garbage can. Sure, we found it annoying - but days turned into weeks, and then months, and then we sort of forgot how much we hated it. So when I opened the big box and everyone in our family burst into laughter, it was a rude awakening.
The next night, Jason and I took my brother and his wife out for tapas and drinks, since going out to a "nice" restaurant with them is usually out of the question due to a lack of childcare (thanks, Mom and Dad, for babysitting!). On the way home at about 9:30pm, we asked if they wanted to come back inside to play some games or watch a movie, but they both said they would probably rather just head back to the hotel and get some sleep. Almost as soon as we had shut the garage door and taken off our coats, I got the following message:
But the thing is, everyone's busy. And I don't want to be that person who always has to remember to convert the time back an hour because she can't even be bothered to change a stupid car clock. And I started thinking about all the other things in my life that have somehow just crept their way in - like watching TV every night instead of laughing together and playing board games like we used to, or spending way too much time trying to forge relationships with people who just don't reciprocate instead of cultivating the ones that are mutual and that matter, or eating unhealthy crap just because it might save me 2 minutes of time. And I really don't want to be that person, either.
So I resolve to live with greater intention this year: to do what my mom always said and start each morning by asking myself, "What kind of a person do I want to be today?" and then actually trying to be that person instead of passively letting life just happen around me. Will I be able to do it every minute of every day? Nope. But that's why I like the idea of having a resolution that's more of a focus and less of a list of goals - I can refine as I go, and I can feel like I'm accomplishing something even when it's not "perfect."
For example, this blog: I love writing. And I miss having a place and a space to write about myself and my family and what's going on in my head. But I was struggling with the idea of needing to have pretty posts with lovely pictures when that's just not where I was emotionally, even though the audience for this blog is tiny and it's never been my intention to have it be more than an outlet for personal expression. I'm writing for me - and who cares about regular posting series or features or how many page views I generate? Not this girl. And if writing about my day-to-day can help me be more focused on living with greater intention, then you can expect to see me here a lot more. It might not be pretty, but it's going to be true - and I hope that's why you're here, anyway.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions, so they say - but this girl is promising more than just good intentions. Here's to an intentional 2014 - a year of doing what matters, from finally changing that stupid clock to turning of Facebook and Instagram and spending more time with my girls to figuring out a little bit more about that person I'm hoping to become. I'm looking forward to sharing it with you.