Thursday, February 16, 2012

this week's adventures in motherhood: getting my heart in the right place.

I have a confession to make: I have a secret resolution I've been working on this year.

(image 1, 2, 3)

I am a clothes (and shoes, and bags...) fanatic. And I definitely have champagne taste on a beer water budget, though most of the time I reign myself in and stick to the sale racks (it's a good thing Anthropologie is a 45 minute drive away, though). I get a secret (okay, not-so-secret) thrill any time the person behind me in the checkout line at the grocery store taps me on the shoulder to say "I love your coat!" or when a student would hang back after class to ask me where I got my shoes or when a very flamboyant waiter at my favorite restaurant told me my skirt looked fierce. As much as we pretend it doesn't matter, your appearance is a big part of how people judge you -- and I admit that looking a certain way is a lot more important to me than it probably should be.

(image 1, 2)

But I heard a quote recently that stopped me in my tracks: "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." I guess I always sort of thought it was the other way around -- that your heart would be the one tell you where to put your money, time, and effort. Instead, I started really thinking about where I was putting my treasure, and what it meant about how my priorities and values had shifted accordingly. And is that really the kind of message I want to be sending my daughter about how to live your best life (really, Oprah, you aren't the only one who has ever used that phrase)? Total lightbulb moment.

So.

I stopped buying clothes this year. All year. (Okay, I did buy a dress for my brother's wedding. For 70% off the original price. And c'mon, it's a once-in-a-lifetime event, right?) Because there will always be cute clothes in stores, so taking a year off from buying them isn't going to prevent me from ever looking stylish again. Plus, this is a chance for me to really take stock of what I already own, decide what's "me," what's old and tired, and start making better use of the items I've already poured my hard-earned cash into.


And that gives me some more spending money for the things that really do make my heart happy -- like buying all organic produce to keep my little family of three healthy, supporting independent bookstores and new authors, donating to causes that matter to me, and planning trips to visit people and places that will last a lot longer in my bank of memories than something on a hanger in my closet.

Does this mean I have to change the tag line for my blog? Or shut down my Pinterest board? For now, I'm saying no -- I still adore fashion, and I'm not going to pretend that I'll never care about clothes again, because this is just part of who I am. But my commitment to being a great mom to L means realizing that I need to be a lot more conscious of my decision-making on the big stuff and the small stuff, too.

p.s. Have any of you read this? Or heard about this? I don't think I can go that far -- but a girl can dream...



10 comments:

  1. A really really interesting concept!! A while ago after reading A Pair and a Spare's "Wardrobe Rehab," post a while ago I've really really cut back on clothes, realizing I wear the same few things over and over anyways. Now I just try and accessorize to change up the same old things. Great post!!

    Also - Here is the wardrobe rehab one I'm referring to: http://apair-andaspare.blogspot.com/2011/09/wardrobe-rehab-6-steps-to-your-perfect.html

    ReplyDelete
  2. Here's some added inspiration: http://www.newdressaday.com This post reminded me of this woman who challenged herself in Nov. 2009 to make a new dress everyday on a $365 budget. She bought secondhand dresses and then altered them to suit her own tastes.
    I know it is avoiding the materialism aspect of your challenge, because you could still be coveting clothing, but it provide added inspiration for not spending so much. Plus, depending on how savvy you are with a sewing machine, you might be learning new skills and building character which is also setting a good example for your daughter.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wish I was so talented as that -- that's amazing! Maybe that should be a NEW goal down the line...

      Delete
  3. I love this post Courtney and what an awesome goal to have for this year!

    ReplyDelete
  4. great goal for the year.

    the last couple years i've been working on getting a "stocked closet" in that i have all the basics and classics one needs to look put together. this, i've found, means purging a lot of the items i own. for a while i bought stuff i wasn't in love with just because it was on the sale rack and, thus, ended up w a lot of ill-fitting clothing that didn't do much to complement my figure or actual style.
    the process of "curating" my closet is ongoing but i've found that if i buy less and buy better (which does mean sometimes more expensive) i have clothes that i feel and look better in and spend less time trying on, tearing off and tossing on the floor. i'm sure your shopping freeze will give you ample time to discover what clothes you absolutely love and are staples and which ones aren't worth wearing.

    but i do like to have fun w shoes, purses, and accessories -- you've gotta add personality somewhere!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Emily, I love the phrase "curating my closet." It makes it feel like something big and important -- which, who are we kidding, it is. One of my biggest problems is that I have a story attached to each item of clothing (when I bought it, who I was with, a situation in which I wore it) so it makes it really difficult to give anything up. But I'm determined to follow Ruth Gordon's advice in "Harold and Maude" and stop getting so attached to things.

      Delete
  5. Wow. I'm definitely inspired. I, too, get a thrill out of the compliments I get at the grocery store or from students. I could definitely take a page from your book. Just last night, I was so proud of myself for resisting the urge to order a bunch of things from the Ann Taylor Loft clearance sale. I couldn't imagine not shopping for a year.

    I can't wait to hear how it goes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amber -- it's an intense exercise in willpower, but I am determined to prevail! The only trick will be not sublimating my need to shop for myself by instead shopping for my daughter...

      Delete
  6. My college girlfriends and I have been doing this as part of our annual to-do list - we give up shopping for Lent. All shopping, if possible, except groceries. It's only a few weeks but can feel like forever...I am so impressed by your resolution and determination! Looking forward to updates later on in the year to see if you've stuck with it. In the meantime I'll stop posting shopping links on your Facebook page... =)

    ReplyDelete
  7. This really resonated with me. Clothes shopping has always had a control over me. I read this post at just the right time as I have been thinking about this a lot. I'm going to really mull this over and see what I can do to get a handle on this addiction. I truly do not think right now I could quit buying clothes all together but I would like to work on emotional shopping. Thanks for writing this!

    ReplyDelete