Tuesday, August 7, 2012

if I were in charge of the Olympics.

my husband atop a college "art installation" known as "The Lazy Shopper"
(not one of our suggested new Olympics events)

My husband has a quirky sense of humor (some of our earliest times together consisted of listening to Wesley Willis songs and playing "Would You Rather"), so it's fairly commonplace for him to ask me totally bizarre questions as a form of entertainment. While watching the Olympics last night, we spent an hour coming up with the Olympics events we think are sorely lacking from the current lineup. Here's what we think athletes should be competing in:

100m dash and 400m hurdles on pogo stick

100, 200, and 400m skip (there would need to be "style judges" to make sure the skipping was done properly)

something involving jumping rope really really fast -- still need to work out the details

a whole category of sliding events: slip-n-slide, Alpine slide, and water slide (we spent quite a while debating whether the water slides should be enclosed and the potential difficulties of rigging cameras inside so you would have footage of the whole event)

vertical wall climb (we briefly considered, but rejected, any American Gladiator-esque obstacles like Nitro climbing up after you and trying to pull you down)

bombardment -- unless it seems too unsportsmanlike for the Olympics, in which case we'll just leave it for the 3rd graders

What events would you add to the Olympics if you could?

12 comments:

  1. When I was younger (and sad because my athletic abilities could be better classed as "inabilities," ), and before I knew there was such a thing as MELSA, I remember having an argument with my mom about how there should be some mental athletic competitions out there. Namely, I was 8 and thought I was awesome at find-a-word and logic puzzles, and figured there should be an Olympics event for them. After all, the brain is one of our most powerful body parts, right?

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    1. http://www.slate.com/blogs/five_ring_circus/2012/07/26/olympic_art_competitions_yes_they_really_awarded_gold_medals_in_literature_painting_and_sculpture_.html -- just in case you didn't already know about this!

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  2. I just found out that from 1912 to 1948 they held art competitions in the Olympics! They awarded gold, silver and bronze medals for architecture, literature, music, painting, and sculpture. WHAT?!

    I'd add that again.

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    1. I know! That's the link I shared above under Laura's comment -- so cool.

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  3. They most definitely need to bring back those competitions that Stephanie mentioned above. My sister recently told me that "shin kicking" used to be an event at the olympics. When I picture this event the required garb would be knickers with high socks and of course a newsboy cap.

    An event I'd love to see at the olympics would be hula hooping. They might have something like that in gymnastics where they do ribbons and/or hula hoops already? I don't know, but they need to do one that is just hula hooping and that's it. Have you seen some of those crazy videos of hula hooping with flaming hoops, woah!

    Also, something I'd love to see (not really a new event though) would be split screen of watching the events happen and watching the queen watch the events. It could go either way. Either really boring, because she NEVER shows any expression, or it could be really hilarious when she falls asleep, and/or gets frightened by loud sounds and falls off her thrown, etc.

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    1. Shin kicking? How do you determine who wins? I am super curious. Also, definitely need split screen of the queen. Let's start a petition now.

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  4. How about some 'mom' related Olympics.....what would YOU medal in??
    http://www.blogher.com/mom-olympics

    or how about the gold medal winner of the airplane feeding finals at these Mama Olympic trials:
    http://mamanatural.com/

    I bet there are some medal winners out there......

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  5. Bombardment would be my favorite event. What kinds of things would Olympians be allowed to throw? Would there be categories for different kinds of objects? I think judges would probably have to take into consideration velocity of projectiles, also.

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  6. I love it!! I still can't believe "Trampoline" is a sport. Then I watched the event and thought...Ok. That's hard stuff. I couldn't do that!

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  7. Ha! How about "American Gladiator" style obstacles courses, or Wipeout style? Entertaining AND physically challenging!

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